the new apple iphone has a feature that can find itself if you lose it, apple is getting closer to making a phone completely drunkproof...
Have you come up with a team name for the beer pong tournament on Saturday?
We can be the stepdads. If anyone asks why say because we beat you and you hate us.
you just used "cock block" and "youth group" in the same sentence. somethings wrong with you.
FYI don't ever, ever get a lap dance from a stripper who says " she's having a bad day " at a bachelor party.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
An accidental pregnancy to a guy with a trustfund is no mistake. It is a gift from god.
I just remembered our "im drunk enough to look at your vagina" conversation. Is that offer still valid? I really think I need a second opinion
Her face is stuck to the frozen jager bottle. I think shes ok with it
If anyone could figure out how to pee on someone's soul, it would be you.
You always know what to say to make me feel better.
I've been smelling a baby wipe for three minutes. I didn't think I was that drunk but I guess I am
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We found him wrapped up in a giant table umbrella in the bathroom.
I'm hurting so bad I actially had to wait for my mini wheats to get soggy before I could eat them..
I apologize in advance for the number of sex toys drying on the bathroom sink.
Pissing into the Grand Canyon is the single most liberating thing I've ever done in my entire life
No I did a yoga dvd and hit my ex up via email for some pot in exchange for his mail.
Drunk me left sober me a shower beer in expectation of Hurricane Harvey. Drunk me is the best.
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