Who has a tranny cab driver? I have a tranny cab driver.
lets start a swedish sibling band together
Smoked a bowl on a rollercoaster. Literally ON. Beat that.
I'm starting to think The only feelings I have anymore are drunk and hung over
you can't hurt those
I finally won that bet on when the anorexic girl would pass out at the gym. You owe me 10 now
shes 19, drunk and said she has no gag reflex. im trying to decide if i have scruples
you dont
i dont
Picture this: me driving down 183 throwing up into a towel. I just hit rock bottom.
Im in mikes bed telling my vagina I'm sorry in advance.
No, your dick is problems. Anyone you fuck haunts us for the rest of the semester. If you need to get laid, I'll personally drive you out of state.
We're having soft pretzels and cheese dip for dinner tonight. Like fucking adults.
A big toe in my vag is not foreplay.
So, the officer that worked my wreck, I'm rockin his world tonight. He saw me high on morphine in the ER. So he knows my level of crazy. Think he'll agree to wear his gun?
So many things can go wrong tonight.
Dude, you spit in your shirt pocket saying "I'm saving it for later" then dove head first into the pyramid of beer cans we set up.
I usually do that but weve been going unprotected with tribal fertility symbols painted above my door
Watching a guy pay his tab with a check. Jesus dude...
Randomize
