I just made this asian woman on the boardwalk that was giving 20 dollar massages upset after I asked her if a happy ending comes with it.
I want to get so wasted that I make middle aged irish men look like mormon girls
I woke up at 5 this morning face down on my bed with gummy bears stuffed in my leggings. Yeah.
So i know you wont get this until you land, but if i'm late its cause i was having sex. being blunt and hope that explains things.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If i ever have a kid with an outie i'm giving it up for adoption
I feel like I've been hit by a truck, flew up and landed on a fence post that went straight through my vagina. No more vodka and sex for a while.
I'm pretty sure I just discovered what the American Dream is said the person eating a hotdog for breakfast in bed in her underwear
So apparently we wrote "Lube Shopping" in Paula's diary on every friday for the rest on the year....
I can affiliate each flavor of Copenhagen to a different one night stand. I really love Texas.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He actually just looked up and said I'm gonna cum in my pants. and he did. no shame.
guy next to me on the train just pulled out two bottles of gin and a block of cheddar. is slowly making his way through all of them.
Honestly I have a huge freedom boner right now and if I came it would be red white and blue
Your actions as of last night have earned you over thirty new nicknames.
I never said it was inaccurate, I said I hate you.
thanks for letting me have sex in your bed, too bad you didn't get to yet
who are you?
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