Bc you can definitely buy condoms if ur a 14 year old girl
She just said she finds Tyler Perry funny... this is not going to work.
We pinky-swore to never fuck each other again.
she's a gynecology student. i don't know if my dick's ready for that kind of pressure.
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he's washing the lighter in the sink and telling me to picture unicorns. requesting backup.
yeah a little bit of me felt bad about it. But the rest of me was having sex with him.
And I was chasing apple pie moonshine (provided by cops) with bud light limeys. In a golf cart, wearing a tiara.
You were riding my three year old's train yelling, 'I think I can, I think I can!!'
I thought I could.
it's almost 8pm and i'm still hungover. at what point do i alert someone?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I picked a bad day to wear the catch me fuck me shoes.
Did someone catch you and fuck you?
Now I can't say for certain but I'm 90 percent are I bathed myself with dog shampoo last night
I am available for nakedness
we're forecasting high levels of inebriation into the evening with dropping temperatures late at night
Do not, I repeat, DO NOT uncuff him no matter how much he begs. He knows what he did.
so on a scale from morning glass of wine to that time i burnt the garage down how drunk were you last night
About 'lets tie a boat to a truck and ride it down the freeway'
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