Hi
Babe...You're really smothering me right now
i blew a .213 what kind of thug blows the compton area code exactly? this guy
She definitely looked like a troll, but I had take one for the team. Or at least thats what I keep telling myself
hypothetically speaking is slutty or smart to buy plan b before we go on spring break so i dont have to get it in mexico
She kept looking at me and saying "you are the scary high".
Of course I'm not above using aladdin and pot to get laid, this is america
I went down on her for 35 minutes and didn't even get a handy. I've never felt more desire to be gay in my life.
He showed up in a dinosaur costume bearing a tray of cupcakes. He even let me hold his tail. I'm marrying this guy.
Big girls don't cry they get day drunk
I am not saying having unprotected sex in my boss' pool was a good idea, I am just saying it wasn't my worst idea of the summer.
Do you think we could brew coffee with beer? I'm thinking a hazelnut Guinnesspresso can only end with pure awesome.
it was also funny because at one point I woke up with my hands tied with a belt and we were both like what the fuck
Honestly, this is a first for me. I've always prided myself on my ability to pretend to get along with others.
just creeped your profile pictures and you should feel satisfied in knowing that you had great eyebrows even before people started drawing them on
My booty call made my bed while I was in the shower. I may have to marry him.
Randomize
