I'm pants shitting drunk right now
I would fuck her until my dick fell off. then i would fuck her with your dick.
Anyone who says sunshine brings happyness has never woken up with the worst hangover of their life to their window being open and it being a bright shinny day
So basically i got outta bed and started peeing on the a/c unit..when my roommate tried to stop me i looked at him and said "i got this"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm sorry to inform you but your friends with benefits card has expired has the beginning of the year. If you wish to renew your card you must submit a picture of a fully erect penis. Please note that not all request for a FWB card is accepted.
me neither. i remember bell pepper tequila but not why or yelling
Hahaha, I forgot about doing shots out of the bell pepper
Why is there a frozen condom filled with water in my freezer?
All I could think about when I saw her was that she could be the mother of my future first round draft picks
It would be like a dance party with a dick inside you. I think that's what Ke$ha wants for the world.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
DONT LET HIM GET NAKED. JUST SAY NO
I'd cum for enchiladas.
DON'T YOU TELL ME I HAVE HERPES ON MY BIRTHDAY. THAT IS MOST DEFINITELY NOT A HAPPY BIRTHDAY.
Everybody posting sickening holiday couple pics and I'm over here deepthroating a bottle of whiskey.
He said my vagina smelled like pomegranates. Its like my vagina is the fountain of youth.
I think I accidentally got a sugar daddy but I was already planning on sleeping with him so I’m going to see where this goes
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