shotgunning a bud heavy is like shotgunning a turkey sandwich
There is a guy standing at my bar right now wearing an affliction SUIT. I can't wait on him.
her facebook's as public as her vagina
We just stood on the porch wondering how you managed to puke up a whole piece of bologna
im at a loss of words.... a stripper is dancing to a Justin Bieber song.
I remember tearing his shower curtain down but I don't remember trying to shave my vag...
Its against the rules to not make you aware of his virgin situation prior to penetration
He showed me one of his balls and said "this one's free. you'll have to work to see the other.."
I have a fannypack full of condoms and acid. Let's get weird.
Remind me to tell you a really funny story about me and arson.
I am very happy to share that the hospital says the testicle pain is normal and that they are going to take care of it.
You were a hurricane of blowjobs and glitter makeup. You came out of the closet and took the house down with it
We are gonna have a bake sale and the preceded will go towards the abortion
It's a sad day when ur phone automatically updates u on Thursdays that traffic is normal and how long it will take to get to the bar
That's fucking great actually
Look, you're talking to the wrong girl here. Tacos>dick always and forever
Randomize
