Apparently you walked through my house with your dress on your head
walked into the kitchen nd asked my mom what smells like tuna she replies" your sister" now i cant eat tuna...EVER!!!
I was to drunk to drive all the way up there, so we just had rough phone sex instead
answer the phone. i thought i was eating cheese but it was butter. i ate a lot of it.
Its what im here for. Critiquing penis photos.
When the doctor said the anal leakage might not be reversible without some lifestyle changes you start asking if it's worth the entertainment value.
Escorted out of jimmy johns because I refused to leave with my dog. Stole a loaf of bread on the way out.
Are you aware that you called me "Sexy clit lady" last night?
Drinking wine from a straw at 6:15 in the morning. This is what college does to people.
Hurry up I'm getting mooned by a hobo
Made it to my hair appointment on time, and got some dick. Today is already a great day
VASECTOMY FOR THE WIN
how the FUCK did i spend 25 dollars at 50 cent beer night?
Unless you want to see me masturbate, I think skype is a no go for now.
You really do take on your dog's personality she sounded like her pug breathing when we were going at it.
Randomize
