i effin hate jeff goldbloom.
but i totally would still bang him
i haven't been laid since the bush administration. it's frustrating.
Some advice for success: 1) Go ugly early, it saves you time and money; 2) If you can't pork a princess, pound a pig for practice; and 3) Beauty is only a light switch away.
ur like the dr phil of bizarro world.
I don't care where my tongue is but i t's going to be in all the pictures.
Mom is telling us about the time she drank her own breast milk. Help.
Had sex to a Lionel Richie song. I have a feeling I was conceived to it. Finally reached full circle.
She counted 5,6,7,8 then intentionally kneed herself in the eye numerous times.
She danced with a broom while telling me I was "cool as shit" and she "wishes she could take a portion of my big ass and attach it to hers" then she passed out
That's some primal shit right there. My vagina is all like CONSUME HIM AND HIS FRUIT HE WILL GIVE YOU SONS!
He's the conductor of the struggle bus
I RODE THAT FINE PIECE OF STRUGGLE BUS
Hold on, I need to find something to wear that says "I don't contribute to your daughter's drug problem"
Only I could go on a date with one guy, have a beer with a different guy and go home with the guy im trying to avoid. I have a talent or a problem.
I just broke a sweat masturbating on a Friday night. I may need a boyfriend.
Nice. Ask if they watched saved by the bell. yes=legal. No=jailbait
He's not put together enough to have that big of a dick
Nothing says girls night like wine cheese and pregnancy tests 😂
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