sooooo how many boyfriends is too many?
Brickbreaker makes my post drinking poops that much better. Sorry, I had to tell someone who might agree.
oh my god i am going to vomit. and little burgers wearing crowns are going to come out.
shes trying to light up her bowl in front of the fan. everytime it blows it out she just gives it a dirty look.
woke up to 35 texts all saying im cheating on her
me and last nights hook up spent two hr. figuring out a reply we went with i love you..
i found her half dressed with her feet in the washer..she said it was sooo warm.
She cut off the top of a watermelon and is now eating it with a spoon. She's more than half done.
i'll just tell him I slept with them both because we needed to compare notes
The cab driver doesn't know where we can find an empire state building shaped dildo either!? What is wrong with NYC!?
what kind of roommate is she really? she wouldn't even hold my hair back.
when you wake up in a apartment hallway wearing someone else's shoes, you can pretty much assume last night was a success.
For gods sake, I only took one. With two nyquils. What a happy world its been today. Fulfill your obligations and then its marvelouso.
when he put a condom on for a handjob cuz he didn't want to "blow his load in the car" i started to question my choice in guys..
I just wanna get drunk and go sledding in my kayak
Umm I might be late. Also I am may or may not have mayonnaise on my ass
Randomize
