there should be a rule- if you jizz on it, you wash it
i am pregamming alone in my car. scale of 1-10 how alcoholic is that
im pretty sure thats an 11
let's get her a shirt that says "i went to key west for spring break and all i got was this illegitimate child."
For the amount I put out, I should be going on way more dates.
I'm such a fucking super-fan. I was worried his cum would wash away his autograph.
So it turns out rose was the bear hunting girl. Fuck my life
None of those words made sense together.
I thought 4 percs were too many but I'm dumping Gogurt on apple pie and taking giant bong rips. This feels right.
Yeah haha but we have no idea where his keys are. Last night was awful. Him and Chancey were in a fully embraced bro hug at one point. Both crying.
James is trying to butt-heads with a moose. I don't know whether I should stop him or just sit back and watch where this goes.
i formally give you permission to eat me when i pass out
I just masturbated and watched youtube makeup videos, which was just an extension of masturbation.
He smacked my ass so hard my ass cheek looks like Wilson from Cast Away
2015 is the year I FINALLY ALMOST had enough dick to satisfy me.
I'm all about clean living these days
You started your day with fried chicken and a bloody
... after you woke up in your own urine
But I’m still curious to know... how did the homemade porno go?
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