can we please move this conversation out of my vagina?
Why dose there have to be another girl there for you to do this?
its hotter. Way hotter.
he just found out his girl is having a boy. he's probably googling "Ed Hardy diapers" as we speak.
i cant even explain all the reasons why i dont want to fuck you right now.
I'm pretty sure there's seven mailboxes in the bathtub...
im going to live freely with my legs opened and my heart closed
His penis was definitely too big to be the type that wants commitment. Shit.
Have you ever seen a porn where they were playing bluegrass in the background?
You expect me to find someone in two days who I feel comfortable enough with to ask them to get drunk and go play in foam with me?
Btw before you ask, the dr said there's no way shoving his dick that far down my throat is why i got laryngitis
nothing says "you're fucked" like watching a movie with the family and a handle of vodka comes crashing down from your hiding spot in the ceiling tiles.
Absinthe night with my dad again, I could get used to this being home thing.
Maybe she'll change her mind but the "go fuck yourself" doesn't seem promising
I just drunkenly signed my mortgage application...
Is this how the global financial crisis happened?
It's just really funny to hear them talk about March for Life when literally every single one of those girls has had an abortion
Randomize
