I went to the gynecologist and they said, "you're the most fun person we've ever had," and i thought, "that's exactly why i'm here!"
a girl in my class is on a twilight fan site and running her fingers on the screen as edwards body comes up.
Miss Michigan hasn't even been Miss USA for 24hrs and already stripper pole pics are surfacing. Classy.
ATMs should seriously have built in breathalysers, I would save so much money.
this is the second time this week i got a blowjob from a crying girl.
He puked in the funnel and continued to chug it. Who is this dude?
Just found out drinking 6 trays of random shots makes me wake up on a club toilet with my underwear and jeans around my ankles
Would be fun, plus since its in public I'll keep my penis in my pants
He probably tastes like german chocolate and coffee beans
Seriously though, my ovaries are trying to crawl out of my body and into his pants.
Teenager with grandparents staying in their room: is to blue balls, as parent waiting for teen to come home safe: is to sleep. You will live- love mom
My head feels like Jesus is projectile vomiting hammers on it
so in other words, they broke and fell off and I ate a gummy life saver off of his balls
Is there a hallmark card for "could you please slide the FUCK out of my DMs"....?
he was wearing a widestriped red gingham suit jacket with complete sincerity im not surprised she beat the shit out of him
Like I'll lick your nuts to make you feel better if you don't get it
Randomize
