My cousin just told me i smelled good. She must like the smell of cum.
whore
They should make a Rosetta Stone that allows men to understand what the fuck women are actually trying to say.
Walking home still drunk in snow. Snowflakes are my only hydration..Need moreee
answer the phone. i thought i was eating cheese but it was butter. i ate a lot of it.
There was blood everywhere. She was pretty good looking person though.
He just gave himself a boner while driving using "the power of his mind"
I can't even go pee because I'm making sure he doesn't run off somewhere naked.
Basically I learned last night that if you're too polite people will think it's okay to play with your nipples when really its not even a little okay
Dinner?
YES CON MARGARITAS POR FAVOR!!!! MUCHO MARGARITAS!!!
Totally forgot we howled at the full moon last night... It's safe to say Tuesday Boozeday is my new favorite day of the week
Then again, he has huge mansions.
*manboobs.
I think it was a low point but honestly at this point I've had so many that my life is like a valley
Shit is getting real. I just adjusted my search radius for my dating profile to ANY FUCKING WHERE
Things were going really well until his cousin showed up. She told him I look kind of like his mom, which started a ten-minute debate on my and his mother's specific features, and ultimately, who is prettier. Guess who my date picked.
Did you put my shoes in the freezer.
Nope. I did however put them in the kiddie pool you pissed in in the living room before Tyler put them in the freezer. Ass hole.
Randomize
