You don't understand, alcohol has become a thing of survival for me and without it I can't function as a normal human being
you know what sucks? talking to chicks you dont want to have sex with
Europeans suck. I just gave him head and somehow i am the one paying for the coffee
Pretty sure God shed a tear when I put 15 singles in the collection plate.
and lets be real... who can blow a middle school class's sunday school teacher and keep a straight face ever again? NOBODY.
I put the condom across her upper lip. It was like a mustache of a job well done.
he fucked me to the beat of the construction going on outside my house. i will never look at jackhammers the same ever again.
i had a long naked conversation with the cop on why is everything fun illegal
Pencil dick carries the name proudly.
pls come tAke this super bath no romo it's just. so nice.
Currently googling hangover cures, which looks a lot like working from the perspective of my boss.
I thought the first time I got peed on it would be by a baby...
It happend again, swimming on the floor... Vodka is my friend
We’re leaving where are you
Hold on Toxic just started playing
Just confirming I will be washing my asshole at your house at approximately 2:45 tomorrow afternoon.
The strangest confirmation message ever sent.
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