You would DIE at the bar we're at right now. All indian/asian med students, I swear
Asian doctor ratio. So hot. I would've gone into heat
He told me he was ok to drive home. Then I found him face-planted in the parking lot.
Almost accidentally stole a baby... explain later
The bouncer asked you what your sign was and u replied "syracuse"
He threw up in a cup in the limo and when he got out the bouncer told him he couldn't bring drinks in so he gave the glass to that dumb girl we brought with us from c street.
I know, she tried to drink it
You've been drinking wine and eating bacon all afternoon. HOW IS THAT DOING GOOD?!?!
Oh and in case you were wondering it is not a good idea to eat weed brownies and then go out to the bar. When I got off the bar stool my high had just hit me and I felt like Bambi taking his first steps
Within the span of 10 minutes, I managed to make a slip 'n slide on his stomach, threatened to pee on him, kneed myself in the eye, and almost fell asleep on the toilet....in that order.
I went to a community college and majored in Bad Decisions. I'm not exactly a chick magnet.
This is exactly why you shouldn't bang your bartender. Although the awkward free shots are a plus.
How do you forget making out with a coworker in the dressing room at Sears on more than one occasion?
...object impermanence?
Actually just remembered that solo cup full of scotch that random guy gave me for not farting on him. That's probably why
And then you two got up and shouted in near perfect unison "I'M ALWAYS A SLUT FOR BASKIN ROBBINS" The bar just looked at us horrified.
We got stoned and took selfies with the most perfect lawn
So, I think my BF has slept with several of our sorority sisters
Well, now that you know, yes he has. We didn’t say anything because you seemed so happy. He’s a great guy and none of us have any hard feelings, but yeah, we’re all very familiar with his penis and it’s talents
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