I'll probably hate you when I'm sober
you're dressed like that and you're on the rag, that's false advertisment
Silently passing ghastly beer farts as I move around the bridal department at Tiffany's. Call it my contribution to the holiday spirit.
smoking a cig and getting head on the last night of my cruise. and she doesn't mind that i'm texting you right now. this is now on my list of top 10 nights of my life.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
How far into the semester do we have to be before it's ok to get drunk in between classes again?
i love how he claims to not know english but when i ask him to come over and fuck me he's all of a sudden fluent
I had to convince you not to write "happy birthday to the first guy who fingered me" on his facebook wall, right above the post from his current girlfriend's mother.
Fourth time I had to be woken up in the line of Whataburger in two weeks. First time my shirt was free of vomit.
You do realize that we got a stripper to do the YMCA for us on the main stage... Right?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Some guy just showed up at my door to return my bikini top. EXPLAIN NOW
I don't know. She kept pirouetting across the kitchen while making dinner. I just sat there stoned.
I have a cat for love and a booty call for sex. What else could I need?
But what if there are 6 people and they end up just pairing the off into 3 couples. Is it still an orgy?
well i can officially check "have sex in a prius" off my bucket list...
What happened?
Vodka. Vodka happened.
Randomize