i'm watching the tyra show: "women who beat up their boyfriends" - lets see how she can make THIS one all about herself too.
you told him to eat candy out of your ear instead of your vagina because you had your period. never. drink. AGAIN.
so as we were driving to pick up my grandma from old navy she procedes to yell into our open window.. "I'll make ya holla fo a dolla" umm...
It's impossible to flirt with the bank tellers because they see how broke I am.
we do all of our sexting over chat on words with friends, so my boyfriend doesn't know about it when he looks at my texts.
bring the vodka.
i thought we were going to mcdonalds..?
we are.
I HATE DRINKING WITH JUST GIRLS, ITS 1030 THEYRE ALL HAMMERED AND TALKING ABOUT HOW AWESOME THEIR SHOES ARE!!!!!!!
i'm going through an 80s music phase. and by phase i mean i will only have sex to white snake
In either case, seeing now as it's basically two couples, unless we're planning to have a good old fashion orgy I think this isn't going to work out so well.
She said she wants to move in with me. Time to black out and act as if we never had this conversation.
How are you a firefighter? People actually trust you with their lives??
It's like... Even my horoscope knows I had an awkward threesome last night.
He told me that he'd ride his snowmobile from Cincinnati to Toledo in this blizzard just so I could give him head.
My mom just said we can't get married in nude body suits to look like earthworms. She's ruining my life.
Had a one night stand and didnt remember the guys name until he started sending me poems in the mail.
He said I have the “Denzel Washington” of vaginas.
Randomize
