You smell like stripper and shame
if i dont get laid while im dressed as Tim Tebow, i'm just staying true to the costume.
omg theres cum all over the american flag and now its up in front of his house.
It was just a squirrel
You act like its normal to see a squirrel in the bar
Oh my god please beg your father to turn the car around so you can possibly get laid by a knight at medieval times.
Crazy fun. I think I got a concussion from a stripper
WHEN DO I FOLLOW THESE PEOPLE. I WOKE UP THIS MORNING &FOUND TWEETS FROM ILLUMINATI AND "hot shot 6th grader"
I smell like lime and condoms and I really want a waffle. Fuk
He's a psychology major, so instead of becoming a stripper, I'm just working out my daddy issues with him. And his cock. And spankings.
They're much more educational now btw. Don't judge.
you bit my nipple really hard and then looked at me and said 'i feel responsible for the state of your nipples'
No he doesn’t answer my texts except for like on New Year’s Because like I was fucked up on New Year’s and he said happy new year and I told him the same and I called him dragonslayer and you can’t really recover from that
I'm sorry for chipping my tooth on your vagina last night :(
How do I word.. " hey, I need you to fuck me really hard and see if you or I can feel my birth control. No worries, this is just an experiment." In a nice way without them feeling used.
Do you think Root Touch Up or Just for Men would work better on pubes?
I often wonder if we’re introverted extroverts, but I don’t think so. I think we’re just easily tired scumbags
Randomize
