so high i just made my own version of grilled cheese using toast and spray cheese
here comes the puke
I get credit on the assist, you can thank me by taking a pic of her ass under the covers and sending it to me. It would make my YEAR
I banged her roommate when she was gone. She came back with a chicken sandwich and a bj. Then she said " smells like my roommates vagina" I think I can get a threesome tonight
I just ate a can of beans for dinner so I can afford to go get a 5$ bottle of wine. I really did not think these choices would still be necessary at age 25.
She's using our floating beer pong table as an air mattress to sleep on.
Haha I'm surprised I didn't see you I was drunkenly buying $70 in merchandise including a vibrating cock ring at that cvs around that time
Shitshow foam night was such a success
We boned on a bench in a park, french people were walking by cheering us on. Totally acceptable
I can't finger myself when I'm all distracted about whether or not your family is going to like me
Wake your sexy ass up. It's donut time.
DO NOT SLAP ANYONE WITH ANY VEGAN MEAT PATTIES
He is getting no nudes from me. I don't even care if I'm losing his legal advice.
If my emotions are below a 3 or above a 7, I'm crying
he was wearing a widestriped red gingham suit jacket with complete sincerity im not surprised she beat the shit out of him
Would you by any chance know if there is a proper protocol for traveling with one's vibrator? I wouldn't want the TSA to rip open my suitcase in front of my boss.
Randomize
