make any headway on the foot/dick situation?
I'm not to broken up about it. Our relationship was worse than a coldplay song.
Omg i either met the gayest dude ever or my next boyfriend
I've never seen the starbucks guy more terrified than when you dove out the car window after your credit card
Why is there blood and lettuce everywhere?
you kept thanking chef boyardee for having pull tab cans
I honestly wish you had parked the car in the terminal garage and fucked me in the backseat but I guess I should be more forward
I'm going to start referring to my liver is Livy. I feel like if I give it an affectionate nickname it will hate me less. Livy isn't ready for syllabus week.
I think we all know your liver needs a man's name.
My taste buds are fucked up, everything tastes like fire after last night.
The friend zone. He put me in the friend zone. But said he still wants me to suck his dick. I'm in the dick sucking friend zone and I want to die.
Just set out 2 water bottles as an offering to my hungover self.
she wanted me to tie her up with my playstation charger cord. i kept on hoping she wasn't a squirter. those cords r expensive. could have def been a Sony commercial tho
Howd it go?
Well we had the "no we're not fucking on the porch" conversation but then we totally fucked on the porch. So I'd say alright.
Never thought I'd see the day when I got assless chaps in the mail, and yet here we are...
i black out too much to be "responsible"
Randomize
