so you know how i got laid the other night? well a condom just came out of me and i dont know whether to be grossed out or happy
i am grossed the fuck out
feel weird hangin out with you now that i've eaten your sister out
question: from what angle do you give a hand job. im confused..
I'd call her a cunt, but she dooesn't seem to have the depth or warmth.
You have to stop getting hammered and preaching about that mission trip to Haiti.
He brought wine and beer. I'll put my pants on for wine and beer.
The Supreme Court upheld health insurance. If that's not an excuse to get hospital drunk, I don't know what is.
Someone please drive out to my house to bring me a beer.. There are some in the fridge but I just can't get up
Just threw up in the MSO airport men's room. We're at that point this morning.
So guess who got away with telling their girlfriend she's insane multiple times in a Valentine's day card. Yup, this guy.
I'll be home soonish I need 4th of July sex, it's the American thing to do.
Well... I got her number now... I think she is a dish best served drunk
Those boxers don't belong to me anymore. They belong to the desert surrounding Phoenix.
I think I may have fully transcended this spectrum of life. I can see beams of light man. Down to the photons
What
The only downside is I can't stop skipping
I'd give my right arm to start my period. My right arm. Thats more significant then my left.
Randomize
