and when i put it inside her she yelled "welcome aboard!"
so i was just informed that i sang that song "pop that pussy ayyy pop that pussy" at the halloween party saturday. iembarrassing.
Its trashy in the best of ways. Like a stripper working to pay for college.
I gurantee you I'll be the only one dressed as a giraffe.
Just got a blow job while taking my online quiz. How is life in the dorms treating you?
hey your mom heard me say to her " That right your not going to Shit right for a month"
The length of my leg hair is a constant reminder of how long it's been since I even thought I had a chance of getting laid.
Last time Jon threw a party I woke up on my porch, no shirt but 4 bras on, and "make better life choices" written on my stomach in sharpie
I knew things were bad when my gyno recommended meditation.
Are you texting, crying and driving?
And missing part of my eyebrow. Correct that is the description one would give of me at the moment.
so I may or may not have had intense sex to mozart's greatest hits on vinyl... I don't know if I should be proud or just really disappointed in my nerdness
Today is get drunk without showing anyone my penis day
i was too drunk before they even got here. i took all their phones instead of keys and hid them in the freezerr...im an awesome party host.
so horny i almost want to text him..and then i remember the restraining order i have against him
Ever get that feeling that you're the back up booty call and half way through securing the fake date excuse to try to get in your pants, the guy hears back from the original booty call and drops the conversation with no explanation?
Randomize
