We should takd a huggy cab to snuggle bunnyville
i think the fact that he graduated high school the year i graduated elementary school is sexy.
I just threw up, I'm either bulemic or pregnant, and I'm now accepting bets on which it is
Thanks for the menagerie of condoms on my desk
It's the use of SAT words like that which make me want to use them on you
We'll see haha. The cum didn't work...I just chewed the whole thing in a day.
I hope you meant gum...
You kept throwing bottles at the dorm across the courtyard and when anyone told you to stop you just said "who are you? Al Gore?"
No one intentionally makes bad decisions, just errors in judgement. You have your boyfriend I have a restraining order from universal studios. It's all relative
I guess our biggest consolation is that we haven't woken up in a hottub with a dead dude. Yet.
I was high and he had on a gorilla suit. Of course I had to take a picture with him
Your a disgrace to smokers everywhere
I piss off the neighbors just so I can have someone to compete with.
The date went significantly better after the fifth shot of fireball.
"I licked someones beard, because I can."
Girls - I think I have a problem with stealing random shit when I'm drunk.
i told him the only way i'd fuck him was if he saved me during the zombie apocolypse and took me to a tastefully decorated yet impenetrable hideout.
And now Google thinks I have a hard hat fetish...maybe I do...
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