I totally ignored my nose and drank sour milk this morning. The tupid carton said 4/22/09. i puked everywhere..
I see an opportunity for you to use your nakedness to cure my boredom.
Just found out I have to work new year's eve. It's like one final 'fuck you' from 2009.
Did I crawl through the hotel lobby all the way to our room?
I want a nosebag of coke after my exam. Like what horses have. Coked up horses. No excuses. I love you.
I'm not sure what happened last night but I woke up next to him and I was wearing nothing but my grandpa's diabetic socks, so I'm letting that fill in the blanks.
the evidence from last night is not good...
what evidence?
my underwear is on inside out, and there are french fries in my hair...
What wine did you feed Jack? Might not want to waste the good stuff on kitties. Kitties only get box wine.
you realize you insisted on them having a dance off to korean music to determine who takes you home?
I lost all of my bathing suit tops.. This is both a success and a failure
I had her buy me a cock ring, so we might test that out. We are presently playing yahtzee.
Cock rings and yahtzee. Like peanut butter and jelly.
The resort was totally empty, just June and I. Which of course lead to EXCESSIVE day drinking and outdoor fucking. FYI Dominicans LOVE to watch.
She couldn't understand why my walking in on her 70 year old parents ruined any chance of a boner for at least an hour. I think she's too slow for me to fornicate with.
Can you see if my straightener is in your refrigerator?
Yes. Its here..
Don't get yourself off tomorrow. We. Are. Having. Sex. That's that. Just dont do it.
Randomize
