And now his mom knows I was dipping my pen in company ink
i am a beautiful darrk chocolate womann
honey you're def caucasian
i am a beautiful white cholcllate woman.... Z
I bet when she looks at herself in the mirror she wishes brown paper bags were in fashion.
on of the only things i remember was the security guard told me i was too drunk for laser tag.
I don't give a shit about soccer but I'm really excited about drinking at 7 in the morning
Dude turns out her best friend is lesbian...there is no wingman for this situation
im not sure if this headache is from the car accident or cocaine withdrawl
If i ever start ordering tequila again please tackle me to the ground and steal my wallet
Dude you're alone at a bar with a woman, and you're talking about my junk?
I will keep you posted and someday if we daydrink teach you how to do a footjob
FIND ME A DICK TO RIDE THAT HOPEFULLY IS ATTACHED TO A CUTE PERSON AND NICE PERSONALITY
CHALLENGE ACCEPTED. Is it okay if I only get 2 out of 3?
The D is nonnegotable.
Blacked out drunk in California and woke up somewhere in Arizona, I'm pretty sure I got here on foot
DO NOT LET HIM TAKE CONTROL OVER YOUR BOWELS
I'd love you more if you were covered in hot cheetos
His mom just pulled off a quadruple cockblock. I'm not sure if I'm mad or impressed?
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