i get tired of guys telling me there married or they have a girlfriend. they act like it concerns or matters to me
i feel as if its time to shave my pubes but i should wait until before the party. nobody likes a sloppy drunk girl with a stubble-crotch.
story of my life.
I was actually high enough at that point that I was just casually following your glowing footsteps like in Avatar while we ran from the cops.
Not enough clothes on. Not enough vagina. Not enough drugs in my body.
All I can remember is being told by a guy named Kyle to stay in the corner until the cops left. Then waking up on a porch outlined in beer cans 8 blocks from my house. Pregaming for college.
they wouldnt let me drive the convertible because i was in a bird suit :(
Right now, millions of people are waking up to get ready for work, start their day, and be productive members of society. I just found a 40 stashed in my fridge. I'm getting daybreak drunk. Zero fucks are given.
Isn't being unemployed beautiful sometimes?
I'll make some time for you! I don't know how long you need to get off, but I should only need 2-7 minutes, pending what kind of socks I have on.
FACE TIME HER WHILE YOU GUYS BANG
A guy just picked up ur brother and carfied him away singing and im slight concern
Also we had sex while listening to fleetwood Mac on vinyl. Like the 70s called and told me to fuck off
That falls under the "unwelcome penises" category. Also that's definitely a sentence I never thought I would say
My arms in a cast, how am I supposed to have sex with only one hand?
more importantly I need two hands to eat pie
I've never been to an orgy, but I would assume nachos wouldn't be out of the question at one.
She meowed at me. Repeatedly. Then she asked what was wrong with me because I didn't understand her.
Randomize
