Goddamnit I hate your level headedness
Just checked my missed calls... why did you call me 37 times from 2:14 to 3:58?
i have essays due online every friday...im just going to write 'im hungover' for every one
just scratched off #34 on my list of things to do before age 30 - drunk in a helicopter.
like in an apt above a crackhead. A LEGIT CRACKHEAD. he woke me up every morning this week asking me if I wanted to buy a mini fridge and some CDs. at 5 am. EVERY DAY.
STOP CALLING ME LADY CHLAMYDIA
Apparently I spent my 300 dollar tax return by ordering ramen on amazon last night. Please tell me this will somehow pay off in the long run.
My bed is full of blood and feathers
Pretty sure the purpose of joining wine clubs isn't to drink the 2 bottles they send you each month IN THE SAME NIGHT.
After her AA meeting, she was on the phone with her mom, and when she said, "they're making me start over with Step 1," I quietly sang, "cut a hole in the box".
I put a zucchini in my pussy for you
We could have mediocre awkward sex or mediocre stunted/awkward/uncomfortable banter. The possilities are relatively finite
STOP PUTTING BUTTER ON MY FUCKING CAT
You can't just drop that I might be walking into a foursome and leave it at that
I miss the pre Covid days when we could meet men in bars. Hitting on guys in the grocery store is just depressing
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