I just watched Juno. I kind of wish I was in highschool and pregnant
I just saw a woman parallel park a horse. Awesome. Only in New York..
He just told me he would murder a thousand dolphins to be with me. Quite the charmer.
Just heard the garage door open and I immediately sprinted to the laptop to erase history, even though I haven't watched porn today...I believe Pavlov now.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
there comes a time in a mans life when you ask yourself, will i fake love for blowjobs? and the answer is always yes
I forgot how few teeth there are in this state...
I'm considering failing out of my last semester of college just so I can keep fucking him.
They usually take it with their boobs. It's like a horizontal motorboat
If I don't have the money by then, I'll pay you in sex.
It's going to be 23.5 times of sex and 19 blow jobs. I just googled it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
How much money would it take for the bouncer to get us beers while we wait in line to get in?
$450 apparently whoopwhoop
yyyea i think im gonna go get a bowl and play skyrim. And by bowl i mean something i can throw up in, not weed
He's attempting to seduce me with thanksgiving-themed sexual metaphors... It's working.
He said 'I really struggle with the sin of lust' then we proceeded to have sex. So I guess it was a perfectly executed Catholic pick up line?
You’re sleeping on my couch so you’re not making dick appointments tonight
She's writing hockey erotica again.
Tell her to pick another team besides ours this time.
Randomize