Well you will be happy to know that aaron carter hit on me
I had a good time, probably would have a bigger headache today if you were in town.
Someone just pulled taco bell tacos out of their purse in class....2 problems with here. 1) this class is nutrition 2) taco bell is not open this early.
if women knew the size of my dick, theyd be much more receptive to my sloppy drunken advances
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Do you remember that blonde girl he brought home from the bar on Friday night? She didn't leave until Monday afternoon. We didn't even know she was still in his room...what a sketchy weekend.
She told me I should be a condom model.
Is it sad I don't want to go buy $1 Mac-n-cheese cause I need to pay rent... I'm re-naming this college.
Also, peanut butter on a spoon dinner is back in existence and it is good.
There were penises being pulled out everywhere.
Question: would Brian be pissed if I brought his 17 year old sister as my date to the wedding?
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She cracked her neck before the blowjob and I knew shit just got real.
My old dealer would be proud of the drug cocktail I just took for my back pain.
Sorry I wore your bra during sex last night
There we go, I shall begin my attempt to achieve whore status today
Facebook just reminded me of the time I found two IHop cheese sticks in my hand bag. Those were the days.
When campus security rolled up he stole their car and drove it like 100 feet. Then he walked up and gave back the keys because it was a hyundai.
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