this kid at 40 friday greeted another kid by saying "heeey farmville neighbor"
dude.
yep. needless to say i didn't meet anyone and spent yet another friday night masturbating.
Ironically her ferret's toys look like her sex toys.....this is a whole new level of kinky for me
I had to download the flashlight app so I could finish taking a dump when the power went out.
I thought of you while cleaning the forehead prints off my glass doors.
First and foremost she's my friend, but she's also a mistake I make when I'm drunk
I think the last straw was when you put on ice skates to go across the waxed wooden floor.
He's so urbane and sleek; so aesthetically chiseled, having endless features to offer me whenever I desire.
Are you fucking a guy or a condo building?
hooking up with him was much more fun when i knew in the back of mind we'd get in some sort of trouble for it
UHG. i just want to have hot lesbian sex and eat pizza with you.
He just sent me a picture of multiple chickens eating in his kitchen... should I be worried
Also apparently I made a "cake sandwich"--yeah smashed a massive piece of cake between two slices of bread....fucking tequila
Dude I'm drinking alone and watching cartoons. How is it that someone as hot as me is doing this.
If I get really high and watch Beauty and The Beast on our Netflx account, will you judge me?
Only if you start before I get home!
I think I kinda scared him when I tried to wrap his snake around his dick while he was trying to nap.
Somehow, walking in on your drunk mom in a diaper was the least traumatic thing I saw last night
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