I like to use the word "seasoned" over "slutty", you know, like a good curly fry
I don't know which is worse: knowing all the free porn websites, or knowing which days they update their free porn.
Apparently faking a threesome isn't as much fun as you'd think
He said to me this morning that we should finish these beers, go and get plan B then on the way back, go to the pub to celebrate the death of our baby. I love Manchester.
Even the paramedic said "what a way to kill a party"
I dont even remember coming home... All my stuff is strewn randomly around my apartment... And I woke up at 5 sitting propped up in my bed with just my arm in a shirt
I need to have some sort of hot sex experience in a mask.
He sent me a recycled dick pic! He could at least use one without sunlight in it, considering it's 10pm
We got hammered last night and I woke up this morning with texts from 'iron maiden chick.' wtf?
There's a website where you can order a pile of horse shit to be dropped on a persons doorstep. So that's another option.
I dont know it just seems wrong to fuck her on my exes back porch
I'm just blindly tossing my dick into whatever comes my way.
I'm just so full of love and alcohol
my grocery list today consisted of condoms. and butter.
umm... whats the butter for?
Apparently i disappeared and no one found me until the morning , but i have fifty missed calls
Randomize
