I think, one-on-one, Paul Rudd could be very threatening in like a REALLY good way.
i was actually impressed that she managed to throw up underwater while scuba diving
the only compliment i could think of for this chick was that she looked 'moderately attractive'
Aj and I already plan to tape our thumbs to our palms so we know how it feels to be a t-rex.
I'm just here to guide your spirit, avoiding herpes is on you though
It was a cry at the bar alone type of night, served with a side of passing out facedown in my nachos.
I mean, yeah, she was cheating on me but I've been fucking her brother. My secret relationship trumps her secret relationship.
I'm sitting in front of a fan naked drinking Gatorade. Motherfucking hangover probs
She stopped laughing and kind of stared at the wall for a while. Then she did 3 somersaults and said she saw jesus. This weed is fucking fantastic.
Told her my spirit animal was the spread eagle. Now that's my name in her phone.
She had pubes that could make an episode of Duck Dynasty. Fear the Vag Beard
My pubic hair is shaved into the shape of mistletoe.
I hope that's a joke and if not I need a snap of it
Look, if a guy shows up at your house. He's short, name is Logan, has weird vertical hair, let him in, give him food, and a place to stay. He's on a ver important mission. And I am he. as he is me and we are all together. And we are the eggman, goo goo gajoob.
did u drive by my house last night?
bc if that wasn't you i threw my bourbon bottle at the wrong van
Don't worry about it too much, but I just committed us to possibly raising a kid
Randomize
