I can't go out tonight I need to save my money for important things.....like rogaine and ecstasy.
just got drunk at a party with Christmas themed solo cups.. holidays are officially here.
You ever get that 6th sense feeling in your dick like you know its gonna get sucked later?
when we got back we had sex. but it wasnt til the morning that i figured out her leg was broken
It's one of the many facets of my drunken alter egos. I'm like substance abuse batman.
Well, he has like 3 girlfriends but I think I could be polygamist for that dick.
My tuesday consisted of speaking to a federal agent for two hours and watching a roving band of gypsies jump over a fire until 2:30am
I'm washing down the sadness with shots of vodka.
I just want to pat him on the head, bake him some cookies, and reassure him that, someday, he will get laid.
it still weirds me out that Robin Thicke is Alan Thicke's son
If sandwichs had dicks, my life would be complete
I WAS SURROUNDED BY HAIRY BALLS ALL ALONE.
So.. I was kinda upset i got the bad fuck out of the situation
and i thought it was paint or jizz but it was cheese
please tell me you didnt taste test that
Thanks for fucking the skin off my dick
It was a joint effort between my vagina my feet and your hand you can't just blame that all on me
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