I'm at the house listening to vengaboys alone. Please come home.
Playing the biology drinking game in my 8am. Drink everytime he says species or organism. I love st. Patricks day
Since you haven't talked to me since the rancid whipped cream fiasco, I'm going to assume we are no longer hooking up. But I need my handcuffs back. ASAP.
Well still if someone cared enough about u to wish an unwanted child or a disease on u ..u must have been doing something right
Wanna skype?
Can your lips gently and pleasantly suck on my balls via skype? If not, then no.
I just debated creating a mirror system so I could play Batman while in the bathroom. I think I need help.
I already knew that. But I also don't agree with stifling creativity.
Yesterday was just the icing on the rejection cake that was my week
If you're wondering why you have playpen balls it's because we stopped at chuckie cheese on the way home.
I don't like sad things. I do like drinking though
I'm going to fix your towel rack. I broke it while I was dancing on it.
Imagine the quality of nudes you could send with a selfie stick
You'd think it'd be fun living next door to a guy whose neck you once licked. Surprise, it's not.
I don’t mind that he’s uncircumcised. It’s the fact that he talks about the Bible immediately after we have sex .
I left the party 20 min ago..just thought i would tell you so you wouldnt think i fell in the lake again
Actually I really wish that I was drinking so I could ask him for breakup sex and then later blame it on my alcoholic tendencies. Maybe tomorrow instead.
Randomize
