And her vagina tasted EXACTLY like a slim jim
I just sat in the Taco Bell drive-thru waiting for a trash can to take my order. Yes, that high.
don't worry about the poodle she's always like that. she's like 14 years old and ate a bag of weed when she was a puppy.
he just told me he'd rather go to the pirates game. i know it was desperate but i said id give him roadhead if he let me come along.
I honestly don't know what my boundaries are, but shitting on me is crossing them.
i will pay you if you can come get me. he just suggested that we would have a hockey themed wedding.
Standing in my kitchen eating choc chip cookie batter from the bowl. As sad as it is, I kinda like the places bad breakups take me.
My day may involve a drug pinata. I LOVE MY LIFE.
Found a girl that was gonna make out with 25 people for her 25th birthday. I was like #12. Made top half!
WE SHOULD FUCK TWO GUYS THAT LIVE TOGETHER
THAT WOULD BE SO CONVENIENT WE COULD CARPOOL
I don't have any bail money, if that's where this conversation is going
Running my fingers through my hair is like that scene from Patch Adams where the girl goes swimming in a pool of spaghetti. I love molly.
He wants to make me arch my back "like I'm having an exorcism". Not sure if I'm turned on or freaked out.
Remember when I made out with that stranger at the bar on my 21 in chicago? I wonder how he's doing
Blunts beyotch
What? Joints? Blunts?
I'll refer you to my previous text: "Blunts beyotch"
Randomize
