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Ah I wish I was there to nurse you then clean up your piss-filled water bottles
for some reason the bedside piss missed the water bottle today
u just dont fucking get it...you try and cum while your cat is staring at you.
Apparently as I was doing the walk of shame home my dad's date was on her way to hers. hoes come in all ages these days
I literally was just rolling on the ground and said to her 'this is what dying looks like'
We laughed. We cried. We came everywhere.
eating jello out of the cup. with my face. while on the toilet. i am at my lowest.
Ohh man. That was a snatch-waxer with a score to settle.
It's disgusting. He breathes through his mouth and just sounds fat. Plus he chews all loud and shit.
Is it possible to be drunk burnt? Like sun burnt but from drinking? Cus I think I that's what it feels like
I climbed out of the shower to him sitting on the floor trimming his pubes with nail clippers, we both just started laughing at how drunk we were
If you get me a sex toy for Christmas everyone in my family will question our relationship.
He wants to pour butter pecan flavored coffee creamer on me and lick it off. I'm like, dude, gross. French Vanilla ok? Ugh.
I was having a serious heart-to-heart, and then the weed gummy kicked in.
You thought her boot was a stray dog in your house..
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