he suggested we appoligize to eachother. then do blow and painkillers & have ourselves a make-up party.
Day 3 of Lent and I would already kill a puppy if God would give me permission to masturbate
Judging by the crutches in the living room I take it you two are fine and we aren't going out tonight?
Why not. Its my b-day, you're in town, I'm in town, bars are in town, and alcohol is in town. I don't see anything not good about those things.
I feel like butter and tequila would be excellent combination. Right now. Please do this in my name.
Dude, jerking off when you're all hopped up on pre workout energy supplements has got to be the greatest thing I've ever done.
All i really remember is meeting this guy dressed as jesus and i kept taking his wine and saying "the body of christ!"
I also woke up in my friends room to 3 girls and a naked boy on the floor but thats besides the point
At this point all my Tinder matches are telling me I'll be fucking the whole male population of UMass '17.
I think it was a smart move. Quickest way to get over a guy, hook up with his friends.
Pretty sure we had a civil war reenactment in your kitchen at 4am.
That would explain the cannon.
Usually it's tequila, or vodka. But today was just the devil
I woke up naked and you weren't here. What a relief.
Just found a note on the bed that said "Dear mittens, had to leave early I'll be back soon."
WTF? Are you mittens?
shit... I double booked my fuck buddies
i just woke up on the desk in his dorm with him snoring in my vagina. better than last week waking up to a different guy puking on my bare ass i guess.
Randomize
