I puked a lego.
I just saw a homeless man dressed as a pirate. I love san francisco.
I wouldnt endorse that guy if he was walking in a walkathon to raise money for a disease i had
I woke up with a crunchy, pink Pepto streak through my hair, no recollection of the last 6 hours of my night and the feeling that all the hotel's staff knew me on a first name basis.
he let me wear his jacket and there was a magnum and a bowl in his pocket ... I think im in love
Just went through ex bf's and hook up buddys and liked pictures of them on facebook. A friendly reminder that I will be back in for the holidays
knew it was a bad idea. the look she gave me when i left her roommates bedroom in the morning really illustrated that.
Idk. Last year there was an ice luge, glow in the dark jungle juice, and lots of naked people. I feel like I'll get pregnant just thinking about going to that party.
I only put bad things in my body...jack, caffeine, chocolate, pills, and rich's cock. It's like being holistic but exactly opposite
I'm gonna look back at these days one day and be like "damn I shoulda been turnt but I was in bed instead watching netflix"
I just took a service station dump so foul I had to buy gas out of guilt
So will your sis find it a compliment if I tell her I lost out on some awesome dick to go to her bday dinner???
A real best friend would support the hoe in me. Not remind me of what happened the last time I slept with a boss
She shit herself again. We're calling her the "Queen of Sharts".
She's like a cask of Amontillado. Very tempting if I was drunk, but sober, I know I'll get fucked over in the end.
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