if you are receiving this text, you are one of the people i hate
i want you now
you need to stop dating girls with the same name as your mother...or stop drinking so much...I don't want to see this
all i know is that they all tuched my pee cup last night.
Don't freak out about the couches in the driveway. We tried to unpack the uhaul drunk.
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I don't care how old I am, if it's your 21st birthday I'm going to make out with you.
He fucked me so hard I had an asthma attack. I'm like the sickly poster child for celibacy.
He asked if I had feelings for him while I was lying naked on the floor vomiting into a trashcan as he held my hair and fed me Pringles.
My little brother found me on Instagram. If I'm not already the shame of my family, I'm about to be.
That all sounds beautiful. All I have to offer is my shining personality, extensive amounts of space knowledge, and I hear I am pretty not sucky at sucking dick
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Molly was fun. I was in a captain planet onesie in Wal-Mart talking to everyone haha
My dry spell starts kindergarten this fall...
They grow up so fast.
I just matched with a taco on tinder. Dreams come true.
I'm not 100 percent on this, but I think I just shit a lump of cement. What the fuck happened last night?
hey, i didnt think i could be this stupid either but you dont see ME getting all judgemental about it
I got confused. The music was loud, porn was playing, people were grinding, there were hand jobs.
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