i was looking up hair salons in ithaca for the wedding and one is a hair salon/ sake bar! you can have sake or champagne while you get your hair done!
question, how would one sake-bomb while getting hair done without getting a horrible haircut?
With sake I got over my irrational fear of seafood. Now I just fear sake.
what part of covering your puke with shaving cream seemed like a good idea?
Man, i was looking at the pictures i took last night in one i was on the Kentucky line fist pumping with a hobo..wth happened?
Her little brother walked in right as I was finishing and was like "uhhh hey there's a lunar eclipse outside"
You missed practice last night. You owe at least 8 hours of liver sprints.
You looked up at me and said "I'm getting a mattress made out of this SHIT. Goodbye certa hellllllllo concrete!" then you started counting sheep
Hey! Welcome back! How was the bachelorette in Vegas?
A safari of penis I hurt to the core
Is he the circus guy or the bi-curious street preacher?
Do you rver get that feeling like their are poprocks filling ur boday?
Bed, food, and you got really nice boobs. That's it really. Foundations of friendship right there.
I already plan to donate my brain to science so they can attempt to fully understand the complexities of my existence
She's kind of holyer-than-thou, like god himself came down and said "please cock block your roommate at every opportunity, and if you think she's thinking of sex, tell her she's a whore"
I woke up and there was a huge blow up palm tree in my bed...
i had sex with a girl named after a fruit last night and it was the best thing to happen to me in 2020
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