My toast was "here's to being positive, and testing negative... Cheers!"... after that chick gagged on her shot, everyone knew.... slut.
Just boiled hotdogs in bongwater. NOT a good idea.
I just accidentally stumbled into an AA meeting...I think its a sign
do guys with small dicks even attempt to pursue romantic relationships?
I rode on his Vespa around Florence and fucked him in an empty train. It was like a way sluttier version of Lizzy McGuire
Convinced lucas all the eggs in the fridge are fertilized and now he's crying.
Please tell me why your entire hallway smells like microwaved condoms.
You know what i just remembered? I asked the 8 ball if i was gonna get kicked out this semester before any of this stuff happened and it said yes. ITS REAL.
I woke up on top of his counter next to a pot of boiling water and an empty package of ramen... what happened to the ramen, we will never know.
I had so much stripper lotion and body glitter on my glasses I had a hard time driving home.
At tuba camp, the pickings are slim. It's like being the tallest midget.
Also, I cannot stop picturing myself in a bar, 3 years from now ordering soda. Just soda. 30 pounds over weight and wearing a cat sweater. I feel like I'm heading in the wrong direction in life.
My penis needs a shock collar
went back to my college bar last night. Bar tender doesn't remember my name but remembers me as margarita girl...I'm not even mad though
BUT YOU GOTTA TASTE THE RAINBOW!!
That's what Skittles are for!
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