Alex, there's no such thing as a fancy sex store.
Trying to find something to do here is like trying to find a vegan resturant in alabama.
it was like weight watchers had a halloween party.
if you do not get any action from him tonight, I am personally walking my drunk ass over there grabbing his tongue and sticking it in your mouth. this is getting ridiculous
I could tell by the way he was holding my hand that he really liked you
Just found out that wake n bake is not one of the 7 habits of highly effective people..
I lost my virginity in that bed. You just layed in history.
I just worked out and used handles of vodka as weights. Whoever said alcoholism is detrimental to you health obviously has no fucking idea.
we flagged you as soon as you tried to put the lime in the microwave to prove it was really a kiwi. again.
I think I should receive an honorary Heisman... I mean, I did sleep with two of the finalists
the boys lacrosse roster just went up... now we can see who we had sex with
He needs to stop telling me how much he respects me. What does that even mean
So aparently telling your roommate you're going to spoon them so hard in the public place of their employment is inappropriate
If i ever die cab you make sure bag pipes are at my funeral they are awsome
literally took my pants off in the middle of bourbon last night without taking off my heels im a super human i guess
Randomize
