Don't really want to talk about it. You were right. She had a whole jar of toenail clippings on her nightstand that she chews on "when her fingernails are too short." Direct quote.
A good Q tip ear swabbing is better than bad sex.
I may or may not have melted a dent into the top of my minifridge with my hot glue gun, which I left on for the past couple hours unsupervised, while we were on our salvo/savers excursion. Welcome to Halloween in college.
I told her I was horny and she said to forget it because she has vagina drama.
WHAT IN THE HELL IS VAGINA DRAMA?!
he told me he had a problem with me going both ways. like what the fuck. what guy says that to a girl? goodbye planned threesomes...
Despite fighting the urge to vomit throughout the whole thing, I think that interview went really well!
Used my jumper cables as a bottle opener last night. Really pleased with my problem solving skills.
at least if we puke, we will be surrounded by beautiful, non-judgemental trees.
She just told me she had a double jointed jaw and winked at me while eating her bananna. That's not possible right?
it's not like this is the first time she's brought a guy home and I'm the one who hooks up with him
You haven't lived until you've watched a retriever try to bring back the condom you just threw in its master's garbage
You were passed out by the toliet and when i said i had to pee you told me to piss in the sink. Never has a girl with alcohol poisoning been so rude.
IDK MAYBE BC I WOKE UP IN AN AIRPORT WITH A ONE WAY TICKET TO LONDON
Nothing like putting a Percocet up your nose because you spent your night drinking heavily and can't drink water to make you heavily reconsider your life choices
Fucking hate kids. In particular I hate our kids.
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