she offered me iced tea and went to go change.then her dad came in the door.i thought i was on how to catch a predator.
You wouldn't stop asking the hibachi cook if his knife was a hattori hanzo
This girls a $30 bar tab from being bi
Yeah like at least with a penis what you see is what you get with a vagina there can always be a surprise inside
Seeing a catheter being inserted into a penis severely diminished my sex life
Just slept with my boyfriend's roomie to learn if bf was cheating on me
Good plan. When in doubt, sleep about.
Remember that crazy chick I've been ignoring and said I wouldn't bang her again? Can we start that again part today?
It wasn't a threesome, it was me making out with one while looking at the other one screaming "does this make you jealous?"
Sitting on an airplane reeking of booze, sex and shame while surrounded by families coming home from Disney. This is not one of my finer moments.
In college, I had one standard. Penis. A lot has changed since then. Now I really only have one standard. Breathing.
Walk of shaming dressed as a zombie hunter. This hangover feels like the actual apocalypse.
She is larger then a hippo. You could cut her open in the middle of a blizzard and crawl in like Luke skywalker. Throw a couch and a tv in there and you're set
It's now 8:05 on a Wednesday night and I'm already going home with my bra in my purse.
Well, I'm hung over and my penis hurts - two signs of success
If not, I can murder my liver twice...it's like a cat, it has 9 lives
Randomize
