why do all the strippers look like they came from fraggle rock
He spent the whole night convincing me I wasn't fat, but after we had sex he said "Oh, I see what you mean"
We had sex on a ferris wheel in canada, our relationship will never be the same
I feel if a girl leaves my house the next morning feeling degraded and in desparate need of a shower, then I have succeeded.
with all this snow coming, and no school, I figure why not try every possible liquor snowcone.
You convinced us both to take shots of jack Daniels through our eyes.
After the party last night, I dreamt I continued drinking... Apparently my subconscious didn't think I'd had enough...
We are finally out of the honeymoon stage of the relationship because it turns out that you can't come back from peeing on me in your sleep.
I had to steal sneakers from my man of the night. I dipped. But then realized I left my purse in his house. So I had to stash the shoes in some bushes and wait for him on the stoop. Then after he watches me leave, I run back and get the shoes cuz I didn't wanna be taking my hour long journey home through London at 3 pm in my six inch wedges and club dress
Great. Now I have to produce, edit and leak a sex tape before Saturday. Fundraising is hard.
I feel better now, I have multiple fuck buddies again
Would you think less of me if I said I was eating a toaster strudel in the bath.
He'd never survive you. Is there a boot camp for pre-heather training?
Stay home. Ain't nothing out in these mean streets but plan b and regret
What is ur current declared sexuality for my bingo board
Randomize
