Why are you such a perv today?
This is a lot to handle
Oh shh
I'm kidding you prude take a joke
Like. There is beer on the other side of that door and 6 yards in. If he's not back in 20 minutes to let me in, I am using this tree as a battering ram.
I just want uncharted vagina. Fresh and ripe.
Im in Ft Meyers right now looking right at an alligator. I have had a couple of beers and people are telling me not to feed him but Im gonna do it anyway.
I thought he wouldn't talk to me again. You know, what's that saying "why buy the cow when you can fuck it six hours after meeting"
whenever he tweets that he wants to get blackout it's like a neon sign for "i want to bang you tonight"
I was just laying in bed wondering if there's more important things in life than cheese stuffed pretzels.
I guess I could probably fit that in between deep self reflection and teenage mutant ninja turtles
usual friday morning routine. the pants i wore last night are in my passenger seat and im rooting through the pockets trying to make exact change at the dunkin donuts drive thru
Now I can't say for certain but I'm 90 percent are I bathed myself with dog shampoo last night
We had sex twice and at Wendy's how dare you diminish that.
I forgot to ask you how long you're housesitting. By which I mean how many bones can I get in averaging 2.5 bones per day.
20.
I need a drink and a shade of lipstick that will put the fear of God in a man's heart.
He told us a story about a time his 80 year old uncle karate chopped a dick in a glory hole.
Brother gave me a harry potter philosophy book for xmas we need to get stoned and talk about this.
Randomize
