If she catches me sniffing the seat of her office chair again, she's either going to fire me or fuck me
what i wouldnt give for a night at orourkes without seeing 3+people ive slept with
I just drove by a church. On the sign out front was written 'crocodile cock'. On both sides.
he said i look beautiful when i cum. i think i'm in love.
look mate, i'm pretty sure 14 texts saying "fuck me. fuck me now" more than passes the legal benchmark for consent.
why dont you just whore around college until someone loves you...thats how it works for girls isnt it?
Somehow last night, my dad got me so drunk that I ended up throwing up on the couch, turning the cushions over to hide it, and going to sleep on them.
The douche that always wears spandex at the gym just walked into class with a dick going into his mouth drawn on his face. The professor said "rough night" and he still has no idea. Tyring to get a pic
knew i was gonna lose at a shoe or be bleeding at some point. and both happened within 20 mins.
I mean I drunk but not enough to handle a Scientology convention
I just hit the bong during the whole bday song then blew the candles out with my exhale.
Yeahhh, everybody is so helpful when a pretty girl is crying hysterically and has only one shoe and a six pack.
The sense of comroderie I've built with my liver over the course of this semester is beautiful
My roommate just walked in with a case of beer locked himself in his room and told us he was going to masturbate his feelings away...
YOU ARE THE ONLY PERSON I KNOW THAT STEALTH CLEANS PEOPLE TOILETS
Randomize
