It's not littering; it's giving birds nest building suplies. Besides, birds love soy sauce and plastic forks.
i got kicked out of Barns and Nobles cuz i put all the bibles in the fiction section
i just woke up and its 10 o'clock and the words "Robbies Fave Restraunt" and written in sharpie above my vage. Help me.
oh my god i am going to vomit. and little burgers wearing crowns are going to come out.
kindergarten is hard when you're hung over.
First date. He's wearing a tuxedo shirt and keeps asking me about our future children. Escape plan #3 is now in action...
I don't know what the fuck is in the water in New Hampshire, but these dicks are HUGE.
I thought the cops would know I was on shrooms because I was 10ft tall.
I'm skyping with my parents and reading Cosmo articles on giving great head. I'm on a roller coaster that only goes up, baby.
I'm driving up the street and can't tell if my ears are actually about to pop or not.
A solid 8.5 on the baked meter, I need to stop.
He is the blood diamond of hook ups. You think you want it...but you don't
I guess my vagina missed him because it called and left a 5 min. message. Color me impressed
If my bootycall doesn't bring over a Baconnator, I swear to fucking God, I'm not letting him in. The hunger is that real. Forget his Persian dick.
Wait... so you had sex and then your ear drum ruptured? I'm not sure if I want to ask if the two are related...
Please tell me that nice older woman you're with at the bar is not your comp&lit professor.
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