does my mom think that having an ed hardy lighter is going to get her laid?
You better have your party panties on Saturday!
Why only Saturday?
Well I have an AA meeting Sat morning so I'm going to try to take it easy Fri.
I used a physics textbook to prop her up so she wouldn't choke on her vomit...see I have learned something from statics class.
someone put bongwater in my humidifier again THIS NEEDS TO STOP
Remember in school when they told us our vag was made just the right size for our future husband? I must say I am enjoying trying to find that perfect fit.
Using your Catholic School education as an excuse for this? Why didn't I think of that?!
its like accelerated beer pong for children.....we train champions young
We legitimately thought something was wrong with you until someone pointed out you were just doing the thriller dance
Did you ask me to bring you a t-shirt to class or did I just dream that?
No, I did. It's a long story.
It's 11am on 4/20 and I'm already in urgent care.
You have to summon your inner elephant
I dont know it just seems wrong to fuck her on my exes back porch
Take your time. I'm mowing the lawn. In the dark. Drunk.
She gave me a roadie as we drove home from fireworks. People were still lighting off their displays as we drove by. I love America.
I've spent hours masturbating before. It's actually my favorite Sunday activity
Apparently she hired a private investigator when he took out a restraining order on her. So the answer is no, I didn't hit it.
Randomize
