I stuck it in and pulled it out
Did she like it?
She giggled?
She liked it
I attract so much trash. The guy that is engaged and kissed me is here so is his fiancé. I feel likeshw knows and will cut me in the bathroom might happen. If I'm not at the pool tomorrow she has blonde hair and is really flat.
I'm watching CSI, they found semen in the woman's ear.
Guess she heard her killer coming
I like daylight savings. I don't care if it's 4 oclock it's not daydrinking if it's dark out
seek help.
i saw like six of her guido cousins in the jersey shore trailer alone. her family is having a dinner party for the premiere tonight.
Just got a nosebleed, my period and the runs all at the same time. I'm either dying, or this is the first sign of the apocalypse. You warning you in case it's the latter.
If I pissed all over some chicks bed I would probably apologize for getting so wasted, not putting out, and turning into a god damn R. Kelly Cinderella... Not ask for coffee and a ride home.
Also.. The Hobbit does not look like a cartoon. We were just too fucking high.
I was thinking that, but I'm not sure the proper etiquette on asking about someone's nipple rings. Even if you did see them and compliment them once.
His name was Kyle but I insisted on calling him baby Jesus all night and then we did a line and he bought me Taco Bell so idk
I'm really glad I had vomit on my sweater when I met his sister.
You need to stop showing people the things i drunk-text to you... i have a reputation to uphold here
Woke up on a lawn chair hugging a bottle of vodka. Hows your morning so far?
Just realized tomorrow is the anniversary of the time Dean and I glued DJ's leg back together with Neosporin and an Ace bandage. I'm bringing red velvet cupcakes to the party to celebrate.
Don't drink and try to take a shower. I thought I was drowning
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