Is it necrophilia if we're both dead?
I've been watching too much manswers. Cuz i know scissoring doesn't work on a motorcycle.
If we're like this now and women reach their sexual peak in their 30's, I can't even fathom what our futures hold.
Also, do you think you think his dick is perfect bc you loved him? Or is it actually perfect?
I just took a shower and I feel like 20 pounds of sex just came off of me.
she let a homeless guy feel her up so she could go for a ride in his shopping cart
Passing out is just my bodies way of protecting my liver.
I walked into a McDonalds at 8:30 am with a half-eaten apple and a solo cup. Never felt so judged.
It's gameday bitch. Man up.
There's a baby duck in my toilet. Fuck you.
it's not like I want to die, I just want life to stop for a little bit. how does that work?
I was hooking up with him and then someone banged on the door and shouted "When you get the chance, will you put the weed on the veranda?"
I know that you sometimes make decisions based on comedic effect, but losing your virginity shouldn't be one of them.
It may be a clusterfuck, but I'll be looking classy as shit as I watch the nightmare unfold
You know that voice that tells you to do something spontaneous after 1am? Don't listen to it.
This is the weekend we were supposed to be in Vegas making bad decisions hoping no one got VD, not stuck at home for the 900th day in a row
Randomize
