I just walked into a tree. I think it's time to go home.
I sat in the mc D drive thru and refused to move till the chick gave me her number
who knew i was capable of sobriety and human-like emotions all in the same night?
im drinking tequila tonight so will you babysit my bra?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Inquiring minds want to know if your Bf is circumcised
the last call horn was blaring when I tried peeling you off the bathroom floor than you uttered "Ill take the toothless one.'
Chris threw beer can at guy. Guy ended up being a fighter. Chris got his eye socket broke. Fighter got hand re-broke. Chris is passed out. Fighter is in kellys bed. everybody won last night. I think.
Dude he fell into my wall and left an imprint then decided to have sex with the door open. Vents carry noise pretty well
I played ping pong,drunk, with my hand instead of the paddle. And i won. I have hidden talents
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I HOPE YOU ENJOY THIS VDIEPO BECAUSE I AMS ENDIONG A LOKT OF EFFORT RECORIDNG IT
I ONLY PARTIALLY KNOW WHAT YOU SAID. BUT I THINK I WILL LIKE IT.
I effort
Let's go dancing. I wanna sprain an ankle. And a labia. My labia or yours. I'm not picky.
turns out it took a Belgian couchsurfer dressed as Heisenberg to rock my world.
just pleasured myself to USA hockey beating Russia in the shoot out. god bless America.
Sorry I called bc I needed help peeing outside
But I did it
If you find me in the bathroom in a fetal position, licking frozen bacon .. I might have Drank a little too much.
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