Correction, I've been on a lot of dates and a lot of dicks
dude that girl has seen more cock ends then weekends
also, did you notice that when he quoted your email he used MLA format?
We got a party bus for the nite. I found out the hard way why stripper poles are meant for girls.
My cleaning lady broke my bubbler. It's awkward between us now.
Why?
Because she knows I do drugs and I know she's a clumsy bitch.
I'm thinking I had intended to send you pics cuz I woke up naked
It was like you were trying to communicate only you were using every letter of the alphabet but in no order and in a different language
I had to make out with him. He bought me a few drinks and he was an Angels fan. As a Yankee fan that was my way of saying good game and sorry we beat the shit out of you
Stop whining I left you with whiskey
YOU LEFT ME WITH WHISKEY ALONE IN A CABIN IN THE MIDDLE OF NOWHERE I AM GOING TO DIE.
I'm high and I have a consensual booty call on the way and just thought that it was a good time to let you know that I think that you are a stellar person.
Oh, cold wet seat on the 48! Are you piss? Are you the sweaty ass leavings of an obese person? Are you the spilled King Cobra from the night before? I do not know! I dare not smell to find out... Pants ruined...
Going back to the ever classy sneak out to the fridge and swig liquor from the bottle method. That it is legal for me to drink here makes the fact that I have to do this all the more depressing.
He texted me at 2am telling me to come get my American flag from his place, if that's not code for sex idk what is
I had to hose off vomit off my driveway at 9 am.....so hot
CUM CAME OUT OF MY NOSE. MY SINUSES ARE ENTIRELY FUCKED UP NOW BC OF THE CUM TRAVELING IN PLACES IT SHOULD NOT HAVE.
Randomize
