he rolled over and started playing skeeball on his iphone after we had the best sex yet considering he only lasted 10 seconds last time.. im getting standards.. tomorrow. for now im just going to enjoy the fact i counted over 20 this time.
I need to write the inventor of adderall a thank you note stapled to a copy of my degree
would it be subtle enough if I played birthday sex on repeat while I may or may not be stripping?
I wonder if they have a "21st birthday" section in the hospital..
he got kicked out of the bar for falling asleep on the mechanical bull.. then freaked on us cause we wouldnt go to the strip club with him
If I take diet pills with my edibles I'll be a perfect person
It feels like there's puke trying to explode out of me from behind my eyeballs.
When he was fat he reminded me of my high school best friend and I just wanted to hug him and hug him. Also, he's funny and humor is the fastest way into my pants after Doctor Who and liquor.
There should be an open time period where you show each other your goods and it's totally socially acceptable to bail.
I wholeheartedly concur
If I do nothing else today, the fact that I talked you into this is achievement in itself.
What am I supposed to say? "Hi new uncle in law once I tried cocaine in Mexico and every once in a while i motorboat strangers. so happy to be a part of your family"
I say I hate my boss but I find myself jerking off to him more and more with each passing day
On another note- any interest in going to a gay bar to hit on 19yr olds?
He got up after sex and said "is it wrong if I say happy Mother's Day?"
The next time you invite me out to a bar full of cougars warn me first. I never felt like a piece of meat before.
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