the beds are so narrow its like a jenga threesome
He could be your dad!
We discussed that right before he asked for my number
I haven't been this sober since birth.
The problem is he wears abercrombie jeans like there's nothing wrong with it
There's a girl in here wearing a kaballah bracelet and a miley Cyrus tshirt. consider her judged.
After he came he asked what I was doing for thanksgiving.
when you wake up in a apartment hallway wearing someone else's shoes, you can pretty much assume last night was a success.
So I'm trying to figure out if starting the day running around the quad in a black t-shirt and bikini w/ a drawn on mustache is a good way to start the day...
Ugh..Yesterday was a complete alcohol fueled shit show. Not making eye contact with anyone today. Don't deserve it. Eye contact is for decent people.
you said you didn't want to carry the pizza box so just folded up the pizza and put it in your pocket
I'm not sure... But I think I just found a porno I starred in during my black out week of '08.
woke up in the back seat of my car with a naked chick and my brother tapping on the window. yup, what a night
whatcha doing?
lying in bed pretending to be a slug
Buying a new pipe this morning, and setting up career plans this afternoon. It's called balance
The heart wants what the heart wants, and once again it’s a guy with brown hair, wears a chain, and has a nicotine addiction.
Randomize
