who do you think you are?
someone who doesn't ask that question
I'm sitting in my bathroom sink, eating a tuna sandwich. He had better weed than I expected.
Shame should no longer be a word in your vocabulary.
Did you know there's no emoticon to really tell you that I just consumed a magic brownie?
Just saw you drinking out of a flask on national tv. I've never been more proud of you
Just saw a girl duct tape a cigarette back together..I feel like my life is shambles for being present for this
The nurse who handed me my discharge papers underlined and highlighted do not consume alcohol while on my painkiller its like she knows me.
After she saw a msg in his phone from me that listed the reasons why I love his cock, I don't think I can deny fucking her ex.
I'm not mad at you for letting me use my air mattress as a toilet, i'm mad at you for letting me lay back down on it.
My very favorite thing in the whole world is when guys try to booty call her as I'm fucking her. Sucks to suck.
The paramedics said she just kept whispering "I just wanted to party"
just passed the gas station where we took pregnancy tests. memories.
He saw me naked after our first date and still asked for a second.. so I think we’re doing good
Dude. I just got a visual of u climbing over a bathroom stall to save my life.
Bruh. You offered the cashier tater tots that you had stuffed in your pocket.
Yeah, and? She might've been hungry.
Randomize
