okay I'm thinking he doens't have a facebook...I'm on page 28 of Hunters
ok you need to stop NOW
I have a new reason to go to work: I can tell which 3 of my coworkers are sisters just by looking at their butts.
So apparently I ran down the hall to another party and started handing out uncooked spaghetti to strangers. You'd be surprised how many drunk people will eat raw noodles.
In retrospect - making it rain salt all over our kitchen was not one of my best ideas.
Remember in school when they told us our vag was made just the right size for our future husband? I must say I am enjoying trying to find that perfect fit.
Using your Catholic School education as an excuse for this? Why didn't I think of that?!
Well they kicked us out after we started heckling the acrobats
Sorry I couldn't make it...got a scrambled voicemail, all I heard was "Bring the dildo"
Just got a handjob from a 19 year old in front of the Parthenon. The Greek god of debauchery would be proud.
No apologies necessary. Just give me sex and Pop Tarts, and we'll call it even.
I was less embarrassed asking him to torrent the teen mom's porn. I'm not gonna ask him to about season 4 of PLL.
don't give me stepladders when i'm stoned.. i woke up to a slice of balogna nailed to the ceiling
I deserve this hangover.
if it makes u feel better, i skipped class so i could go to a sex convention in jersey a few hours earlier than if i went to class.
He texted me at 4:30 in the morning saying "I'm not drunk but I think you're beautiful" and then a facebook message at 6 am saying "hi" and the subject was "oh"
The weekend was a blur. There was vodka and penises and orgasms. I played a game of Cock Roulette and won big
Randomize
