Why would I want to inherit a sex machine used by my grandma?
Marriage: a sacred union between one man and one woman, and another woman in Argentina.
she told me she was pregnant in a never have i ever game
So I had to explain to her that pussy doesn't mean a cat
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I love college. Only here at ten in the morning can you hear "Man, hot sauce on my pussy was my worst idea in a long time." while walking down the hall.
That's what you said about that spiderman stripper, but look how that turned out
You were hanging upside down on the subway with your feet in the stirrup handle bars. the children were amused.
He whinnies like a horse when he's cumming. I wish I would have known this before we got into a relationship.
I totally just stopped for a booty call on the way to my parents for easter....good friday is an understatement
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm hoping my engineering degree will pay off when I invent porn watching in the shower
Let's fuck under the stars. And by under the stars I mean in my bed underneath my glow in the dark star stickers.
I came to the conclusion that Tinder and having the day off are not good for my relationship.
Wanna have a sleepover and take me to court in the morning?
The awkward moment when a lady ask you what kind of lipliner you're using, but really I have just finished eating hot cheetos.
I'm trying to drink up the confidence to run in public.
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