he was wearing sponge bob boxers. Guess how long he lasted.
this is a family affair. You're an embarrassment.
whatever it's not my family
Tostitos scoops are the best shotglasses ever. Eat it after as a chaser.
My 54 year old father just sent me a YouTube link on my school email titled "Walrus sucks his own dick" and then wrote in the email "I wish I were a walrus". What the fuck is wrong with my family?
so i had a hang over on saturday and i stayed in the shower for 4 hours, then crawled out, skimpered to my bed, and some kid i didnt know was sleeping in it
The higher i get, the less gay he looks, and the more i want to make out with him. This is dangerous.
I should have but it might be too early in this fuckbuddyship to emasculate him
I spent the day drinking wine and meditating. I'm zen as fuck.
That tingly feeling you're experiencing in your lady parts is my mustache. All the ladies of America are waking up feeling the same thing. You're welcome.
Dudes don't just lick butts of chicks they're not into.
I thought i didnt really feel whatever i snorted last night until i just realized i think i asked this dude to punch me fight club style
I make him buy me all the extremely expensive high end Mac cosmetics I desire. Wear it then let him cum on my face. I am fucking glamorous.
We just took an Eskimo family picture.. It's pretty cute honestly
Apparently today is power bottom appreciation day
I guess it's too forward to greet him with a blow job?
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