S and I had anal without a condom because I'm on my rag but he didn't finish. Should I still take Plan B?
They had a "who can aim further away from the toilet" contest. I'm now washing piss off my ceiling.
i cant cry in cvs. not again.
Sometimes he has weird facial hair...Basically he has a penis... that's what he's got going for him.
My ex just called and told me that he is on his way to the hospital because he popped a vein in his dick. Should I go to the ER with him or class?
She gets me. First thing she said this morning "I'll buy breakfast if you can tell me my name."
isn't that the guy who always buys you drinks?
yeah. i love a man who still buys me drinks after the bar cuts me off.
next time on intervention
I've fallen from my one moral pedestal
I get a nose bleed and my uncle is automatically giving me the "your doing lines off dashboards again aren't you" look
And amler is totally snoring loud as fuck sitting on the steps with her feet in a puddle of soda puke
Dude, I'm not going to use a butt plug.
How's Vegas?
Woke up with a sculpture of my own head. Been trying to find Ashley for two days. so pretty not too bad.
Is it something I'm going to want to hug you for or slap you for?
I was trying to decide if i was still high whenever i realized i was pressing the buttons on the microwave cause i liked the sound.
YOUR MANICOTTI IS FULL OF LIES
Sorry i meant to send that to my mom
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