Bristol Palin says: Remember to use protection
it was worse than that time i tried giving evan head 4 days post nose job.
i was more sad about losing him as neighbor on fishville than as a boyfriend
I'm about to take my first shit since thursday. I'm scared. pray for me. If I don't make it, tell my family I love them.
It took him three days to realize his roommate had moved out.
She still cant shoot whiskey?
Im having serious doubts about this relationship
As an added bonus, you will have a "25 blowjobs a month" voucher, expiring thirty days after the first initial bj.
If you wake up tomorrow and start to wonder.... Yes you did just eat mild sauce from taco bell out of the package while informatively yelling about the loss of my virginity
I have a huge bruise on my thigh that I am 95% sure is due to you repeatedly throwing me over couches.
I cried over the lack of milkshakes I've consumed in the last month
So that prostitue I banged at Steve's bachelor party just texted and invited me to a BBQ at her parents. Never again doubt the power of the cock piercing.
All his ex-girlfriends are delicate flowers, tho. And I'm like a trash compactor.
I wouldn't worry about it. You know what they say, THICK THIGHS MAKE THE DICK RISE.
How my distance relationship is going: he's trying to sext me & I'm stuffing pizza in my face.
Joke’s on you. I got to talk to a furry about why nukes are bad and why musicals are good.
I have had my dick inside of entirely too many people at this wedding in order for me to be the groom. Please give me a swift kick in the dick to wake me up from this nightmare
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