love how google fills in search terms for you, today for example, i ran a query for "why do girls get t"
and google finished it w/ "ramp stamps."
I felt less weird knowing others had searched this before me.
i just realized i've been trying to levitate the potatoe chip out of her hand for the past ten minutes. i think i smoked to much.
I think I just broke my ankle. I've only had one beer. I'm getting drunk before I go to the ER so it's less embarassing.
he aplogized for the shitty sex and called me "ma'am" when he did it. And he wants redemption sex. Gah I love southern gentlemen.
You could give me a blowjob later? :)
I meant do something romantic..
Blowjob In the moonlight?
I just found what appears to be a tooth in my purse...anybody missing one?
I'm just planning on experiencing Disney as adult style as it gets. Drinking bloody mary's at dawn and telling all the kids waiting in lines how badly their future sucks and that Santa isn't real.
You walked up to me, grabbed my face and said "I just peed in the sink!"
I re-seduced my fuck buddy...must be the luck of the Irish!
Send me a picture of our booze closet. I'm homesick.
Oh, I also stabbed a guy Friday and he still asked me out
You don't get to call me bro after you've had your dick in me.
He literally said, while inside me, "I would smack your ass but I don't want to wake my mom up". Amazing.
Are you okay? You're not sitting at home on facebook. I'm worried about you.
There's a pregnant girl taking shots of apple juice
Randomize
