I have one brief flash of having his dick in my hand. that's all I remember.
porn bloobers exist! never have i laughed so hard while jerking off!
I told the cop it was my birthday and he said "happy fuckin birthday", handcuffed me and threw me in the back of the cop car.
i am doomed to only fuck guys with curved cocks
There is a different car in my driveway. Have no clue how I got home.
Help. All alone. Room is. Changing colors. Dance party 2010, but without dancing.
I tried really hard to get you laid last night. And by that I mean I asked a bunch of dudes if they were top or bottom.
actually there are like 49038098 people in the bathroom for no reason. Singing My Heart Will Go On and pseudo fighting.
It would have been nice to break the dry spell with nice, civilized, sober sex somewhere other than on my friend's couch.
The crowd is chanting "we want sex!" There's a man dressed as bacon. That is all
My mom just told me not to dance on any tables on Halloween...I'm choosing to take that statement as a joke
You know you're drunk when you're apologizing for your asshole at 4am to the toilet. Eat shit habanero bbq sauce, you've ruined my life.
I named my Roomba after my pot dealer. I have a problem, don't i?
I'm going to smell of sex and shame.
How is that different than any other Monday night?
These girls next to us are doing shots called bath salts. Sadly this is the classiest bar I've been to since i moved to PA
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