"tonights gonna be a goodnight" was blasting at the club while i was screaming "NO ITS NOT" and crying. How do you think it went?
Excuse me? I'm weird? You're the one sticking your penis into a pringles can.
Im sitting next to shitfaced santa at the cuse game. My plan to be on television is now flawless
hows the party?
ists fjcssing insceredle
be there in 10
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I already banned bobbing for apples. While drunk that's just drowning near fruit.
I hate when people see you passed out in your front yard and call 911. Like what, you can't take a nap face down on your steps at 4pm?
when the song champagne showers came on you poured some kids beer over his head... while giving him a lap dance
I made $80 at the club last night by telling him he was like a wild pony and I just wanted to tame him
He put oyster crackers in his ramen noodles. Is that a thing? Because holy shit I had never thought of it before and if it's not a thing he's my new stoner hero for discovering it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Naw man, if he's crazy enough to jerk off on a public bus he's too crazy for me to fuck with
how does spending your day off taking me to the hospital sound?
Well I either feel like the fat girl or very accomplished because his bed is now broken in three places
We dont have cups... so were doing shots out of bowls like puppies
There's a pregnant girl taking shots of apple juice
I just found an entire bag of French fries under the seat of my car labeled "For emergency use only" drunk me is always planning ahead.
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