Where you at
assisting at a photo shoot in williamsburg till 7ish. wassup?
Doesn't matter. I already jerked off in your bed.
If I were a hot girl. I'd whore around, I'd be awesome.
you started crying about dinosaurs being extinct
that's why i woke up holding that dina girls hand
she's a dina-saur
I wish you could buy pregnancy test at the liquor store, it's the only place I feel comfortable being a disgrace because I know they understand why it happened...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
did i paint my nails blue or do i need to make a trip to the ER?
why would you automatically assume i'm high...
you just told me you're eating the powder of a lemonade mix.
We had a pillow fight. It looks like an angel exploded here. A DRUNK ALCOHOLIC ANGEL
This teachers last name is pfister and she did the fisting motion to help explain how to pronounce her name. This class might be good
so gross sitting on a warm chair at a restaurant..you just know a fat person was sitting there shoveling food into their face for hours.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
he calls himself the gay cupid because he matches two guys looking to hookup on craigstlist with each other. get me out of here. please.
I'm drinking straight vodka and railing lines of adderall while writing a paper about the nature of Jesus. It's 6:50 in the morning. College.
Could have had sex with an ex NFL kicker last night.
That would've been embarrassing.
Why would I take you home? That would eliminate the chances of you making bad decisions I could ridicule you about later.
its 3am and I'm taking a bubble bath, this is what taking a day off work at 30 looks like
My mom just woke me up with a cowboy hat and sunglasses on. It's 7 am and she's drunk.
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