I dont know whether to be proud of myself for not driving, or being proud that i was so messed up I couldnt drive
if i could have babies with my dog i totally would cause i know thay would be fucking hott babies.
sometimes I tug on my anal hairs for pleasure
you've officially gone too far. we are no longer friends
A relator touring our house this week saw the picture in our bathroom of steven passed out, yellow faced, with BALLS on his forehead, and had to ask "if that kid was alive or dead".
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I could get a dump truck for 1000. Think of the possibilities.
she laid there and continued moaning loudly for like 10 minutes after we were done, just so that her mom would be jealous
I seriously think the toilet is the cleanest thing in their house. At least if I have to worry its not about that.
Okay so my USC tutor just offered to eat me out. I think I'm definitely applying to USC.
I found out he put two potatoes in a jar because he wants to make his own vodka.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I hooked up with a blind guy last night... he's clapping in order to find his way around our apartment
I didn't tell that thing I wasn't coming over. Whoops
You know you haven't dated in a while when you call boys "that thing" and call dates "a boy type thing."
I pay 3K a month for rent, yet last nite I broke into the back of my building, scaled over 2 tons of garbage in heels and took a dirty freight elevator to my floor just so my doorman wouldn't see how fucked up I was
U know ur prob on camera right?
He told me he felt the only proper thing to do was fuck me to the top of the corporate ladder
The good thing about country bars is that the men generally look like men. The bad thing is the country music.
Im 76 percent sure I took a fully clothed shower last night.
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